Ball of Twine
by BrianHG
Summary: Three monks walk into a machine shop...


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Disclaimer:   
I do not own Andromeda or any part thereof. All rights to these properties are retained by Tribune Entertainment and Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda.   
  
Note:   
This fic was inspired by a Monty Python sketch, but the dialog is original.   
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"Harper, what are you doing?" Trance looks down at the engineer.   
  
"Just replacing some AP solenoid valves."   
  
"Where'd you get the new parts?"   
  
"Uhh, from a dealer on Ugroth."   
  
"How much did it cost?"   
  
"Fifty thrones for the shipment. It had some pretty good stuff too."   
  
"Yeah? Like what?"   
  
Harper stood up, "Sheesh, I wasn't expecting an Inquisition."   
  
Thaddeus Blake, Rev Bem, and Rhafe Valentine burst into the room wearing their Wayist robes. Simultaneously, they shout, "No one expects the Wayist Inquisition!"   
  
Trance: Wayists don't have inquisitions.   
Rev: Yes they do.   
Trance: No they don't.   
Blake: Obviously they do, because we're Wayists, and we're having one.   
Trance: If you're having an inquisition, you're not Wayists.   
Blake: Yes we are.   
Trance: No you aren't.   
Blake: You can see we're all Wayists, because we're all wearing the red robes.   
Harper: But he's wearing a white robe! *Points to Rhafe*   
Rhafe: I am not.   
Trance: We can all see that it's a white robe.   
Rev: It's red.   
Harper: No it isn't.   
Blake: Even if his robe was white, which it isn't, you could tell that we're all Wayists because of the medallions.   
Rev: Umm, about the medallions… I kinda lost mine in the Magog attack.   
Blake: What!? How can you be a Wayist without jewlery!   
Trance: Ah ha!   
Rev: At least I don't dye my robes.   
Rhafe: I don't dye my robes. These robes are naturally white.   
Harper: I thought you said you were wearing red robes.   
Rhafe: I did not.   
Harper: You did so.   
Rhafe: Did not.   
Blake: Stop it! We were talking about Rev.   
Rev: No, we were talking about Rhafe's robe. How is it naturally white? Nothing is naturally white.   
Rhafe: Clouds are white.   
Rev: Clouds are grey.   
Rhafe: Did you just say 'clouds are gay'?   
Rev: No, grey.   
Blake: Not nimbis clouds.   
Rhafe: Fine, but if nothing is naturally white, where would I get dye?   
Rev: What?   
Rhafe: Where would I get the dye?   
Rev: Magic.   
Rhafe: Magic?   
Rev: Magic.   
Blake: But Wayists don't use magic.   
Rev: Therefore, Rhafe isn't a Wayist. I rest my case.   
Blake: But we were trying to prove that we are Wayists.   
Rev: Oops.   
Trance: So, you aren't Wayists after all.   
Blake: That's all part of our plan.   
Harper: What plan?   
Blake: Why do you think no one expects the Wayist Inquisition?   
Trance: Are you just going to answer every question with a question?   
Blake: So what if I do?   
Harper: Why don't you just give us a straight answer?   
Blake: How do you know I won't?   
Trance: Will you?   
Blake: Do Wayists ever lie?   
Harper: But you're not Wayists.   
Rhafe: Yes we are.   
Harper: No you aren't.   
Rev: Are too.   
Trance: Proove it. Name all the messangers of the Divine!   
Rhafe: But there are so many!   
Harper: Better get started.   
Blake: There was St. Buddha, St. Jesus, The Annointed…   
Rev: St. Hare Krishna, St. John Trevolta…   
Rhafe: St. Michael Jordan…   
Harper: What about Michael Jackson?   
All: No!   
Blake: Ooh! What about that guy on New York drift that kept shouting 'The end is near'?   
Rhafe: Yeah, and the guy with the Italian restaurant. He could make the most delicious fettucini alfredo I've ever had.   
Rev: And Darth Vader too.   
Blake: But he was evil!   
Rhafe: Who cares! He was so cool. He was all 'Luke, I am your father.' And Luke was like, 'No way!' Then he just chopped off the kid's hand. Dude, he was totally a saint.   
Rev: Plus, he becomes a good guy at the end.   
Rhafe: Thanks for ruining it for me.   
Blake: Fine. St. Darth Vader. Anything else?   
Trance: So… are you guys Wayists or not?   
Blake: I dunno. I got a little confused on the whole 'Vader' thing.   
Rev: Ya lost me at Michael Jordan.   
Rhafe: I was just tagging along for the free brunch.   
*Rev, Rhafe, and Blake shrug, then walk off.*   
Harper: Think we could get some of that Italian food if we followed them?   
Trance: Let's go!   
*Harper and Trance run after the Wayists.*


End file.
